pushing the senses.

...Eid

2010-09-12T16:18:00.002+08:00

I envy.

I envy everybody who has posted their festive photos. This is suppose to be a joyous month but unfortunately I have nothing of that sorts. There isn't any new baju kurung nor curtains. The only new thing about this year's Hari Raya is that there's lesser relatives with us. Probably why the festive month doesn't feel the same anymore. I miss the old times...when we were still like them.

And yeah, I think I'm back.

Till we meet again.

2010-02-16T21:51:00.001+08:00

Well, I guess this place is History.

Big Nights Out '10!

2010-01-29T21:28:00.001+08:00

Been waiting three months for this.

3rd February '10 is approaching!

Time to get excited!

polaroid walls and pop art.

2010-01-06T16:44:00.002+08:00

I'm considering having polaroid pictures on my wall and finding an awesome pop art to put some decorations to my bland walls.

With all the new stuffs coming in and the old going out, the room really needs a makeover.

Happy New Year, Twenty Ten.

2010-01-03T11:43:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year, Twenty Ten.

Well, I'm not really sure how happy 2010 can be. For the first time in my twenty years, I've celebrated the last day of the year with someone. Well, I should probably open and close inverted commas on the word celebrated. So here goes; "celebrated". Had late late supper at Al-Ameen few hours before 2010 came knocking on our doors.

So like I said, how happy 2010 can be? Its just another day with a different date. 2010, I'm still in NS. Will be turning 21 soon which entirely means I am going to have much more responsibilities. Still feeling dark and gloomy, though I kinda like it that way. And still trying and wishing for an uphill task with epic proportion without and result. Yeah, happiness of 2010? It's only...quote, "Temporary".

First day of 2010 started out with work, ridin' da ambulance savin' lives. Well, indiscretely I can say it was an eventful, interesting yet confusing start to the date 1/1/10. And my wish for a "better" second day, was met with something that most people in this line never want to meet. They say, its time to 'mandi bunga'. Maybe I should consider that.

With a year and a half left to my National Service, I'm really hopeful it will be a good year for me.

You know I could use somebody

2009-12-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Now, who thinks Singapore Idol was overrated this year? Well, I for one thinks it was. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a critic of the show but, in fact, an entire opposite actually. The need to support local talent and show that Singapore can be somewhere too is never ending and the show epitomised that. But all this has created a national hypocrisy in every one.

Quote, "Another Malay Winner?", Quote, "Singapore did right by choosing a homegrown Idol", Quote "bla bla bla."
Isn't that a little hypocrite. Well, everyone has their particular favourites and beliefs. Everyone has their freedom to say what they want. But if their favourites leads to indiscriminating comments that victimises the effort of the contestants in the first place than doesn't that brings down the value of the competition. Yes its a reality show on musical stardom, but what is a great artiste without a great voice or x-factor?

But that's not my, well, complain. My main concern is on all the racial comments. Yes yes, I don't want to get involved with all the immaturity but its just inevitable. I think I've mentioned this before albeit its not about some singing competition but about another competition. Singaporeans have been complaining about the foreign invasion. Singapore government scouting talents from abroad to flourish the country through sports (eg. Agu Casmir, Tao Li, Jiawei and etc) and foreign talents in different commercial industries. Singaporeans have been disputing that these foreign born talents are not Singaporean to represent Singapore or in the case of companies, these foreigners are "stealing" jobs from locals. Yes, we have the right to be bitter, but is there something we can do? Why not do something, work harder and go beyond the limit to wrestle that opportunity away from you.

Now we have another unwanted comment on the Pinoy finalist of Singapore Idol. Yes, she's a Pinoy but is she any different from a Malay? a Chinese? an Indian? Are these the only race we have in Singapore to begin with? We have to accept that Globalisation has taken place around the world. They may be Pinoy by race but as long you're here in Singapore for years...you have the right to be a Singaporean. People really need to understand that Singapore is not based on three races. We have three basic race group and have well, how do you put it, upgraded to a whole new level of races. So I definitely do not see what's with all the Hu-has.

Okay enough of Singapore Idol because that's my point of view.

Hah, if you would like to know, I'm here at work...blogging. Yes. Blogging on a notepad. Electronically of course, in the middle of the night while my crew is sleeping. Its pretty dark at the moment in the office with only the laptop litting up my face. A little creepy especially with Misteri Jam 12 playing in the background. I'm too of a coward to listen to it, so i have my earpiece plug in my ears. Its been awhile since I've been this "inspired" to write. It may not be beneficial to you at all, but penning down my thoughts...takes everything away, for a moment. Like I mentioned before, it makes you feel as though somebody is actually listening to you. Oh well.

But honestly, I wish I had somebody to talk to right now. Somebody to text and just keep me company for the night. It would be nice especially on a night duty. Hmmm...

And just like that, I have nothing else to pen down. So, the end.

even my burp smells fruity smokey.

2009-12-22T18:53:00.003+08:00

Had my first Vacation Leave (VL) in weeks. Awesome feeling. Now continuing it with two official off days before another VL on the eve of Christmas. Great feeling to have this 'long' break even though I have to turn up at station tomorrow for some ridiculous matters...

So, I spent my VL by shopping, initially. Well, intended to shop but I found myself reluctant to part with the cash I have. Only because I knew it wasn't much since I had to pay up my mindblowing handphone bill. God knows how I managed to use up so much Mobile Broadband time. Well, that happens when you get too bored mending the front desk all by yourself. So yeah, going the separate ways with the money was a difficult choice. But no doubt, I will be splurging soon enough. Maybe wait till January when my money will double and hopefully, my handphone bill will lessen or I will go berserk.

After searching for something nice to buy which I eventually found a lot but still didn't get 'em...headed to Bugis for some chilling out session. Shisha was next on the agenda, my agenda. Its been quite awhile since I shisha-ed. It never felt better especially smoking three flavours of different towers and the company I had. After the night, and month I had it was definitely worth it. You should see us (or probably Hadimax), gettin' high on smoking. Macam smokin' weed.

Well it was fun, while it lasted.

Death, Its Been Following Me Around

2009-12-22T18:49:00.004+08:00

I realised that lately, I've been encountering death everytime I work. Its like a pattern. A scary pattern. It makes me feel, even more gloomy.

Is it a hint?

hometree

2009-12-20T20:03:00.001+08:00

Before I head to work. Let me say one thing.

JAMES CAMERON'S AVATAR WAS AMAZING!

don't fear the reaper

2009-12-13T16:53:00.002+08:00

To be in this line of duty, you'll get to experience all the heartwrenching moments. I've seen my share of emotional cases and how precious lives are. Of course, we should also know how people take it for granted.

To all those whom may have lost a friend to tragic means, recently or in the past, may their soul rest in peace and be well take care of by Allah.

Into the archives.

2009-12-04T14:05:00.004+08:00

I don't really have any stories to tell. They're too overdue to be told. Plus, I don't exactly remember any.

Its the month of December now. Which by all means, twenty oh nine is coming to an end. Into the archives. The new year is looming. Twenty oh ten. Not sure what's going to happen then. I don't know will I be looking forward to it.

New beginning? Maybe. Same old story? Probably. Well, at least I got Muse to look forward to. Yipee Yay!

mind your own business.

2009-11-29T10:37:00.005+08:00

Yeah, I have a blog for a reason.
And I too have a reason why I don't choose to hardly blog about anything here.

kapish?

gettin' on the nerves.

i can't take this anymore!

2009-11-24T09:36:00.002+08:00

It's been an hectic month and exhaustion is riding up next to me. I can feel the almost giving up already. I'm just so tired. Even, sleeping as early as I could didn't help with the fatigue.

Muscle aches, bruises, fatigue. This is worst than going to war.

ridin' low.

2009-11-13T13:19:00.003+08:00

Its raining.

Okay, tumblr is back up. I'm back to station life after a week of madness. Can't imagine me saying this but it will be good to be back, I hope. P.S/ I'm having my off today.

Right now, all I know is that November has not been a good month. And hopefully I don't end up doing something I will regret.

Okay, feeling sleepy now, only because I woke up at seven in the morning today. Absolute no idea why.

you're driving me crazy.

2009-11-09T22:16:00.003+08:00

Fuck, angry lah with the laptop.

For some reason, its pretty slow at startup due to a file Qttask.exe (quicktime file) maxing out the CPU Process. Like, what the fuck seriously. I can barely have the patience to wait just to do one thing. Clicking on my computer or the start menu takes forever. Let alone trying to find a way to remove the file that's taking up all the CPU usage. Ugh.

On the bright side, took the time to head down to RP, the ol' haven, today. Well, does bring back the memories of being a RP student. All the hectic yet slack moments.

Okay, get back to figuring how to fix my damn can be condemned laptop.

numb, hold me down

2009-11-08T11:22:00.002+08:00

Soon, 2009 will come to an abrupt end. It will be a relief yet we can't be sure of what's going to happen in 2010. An exciting mystery indeed. Hopefully things will take happier change. What's new?

This few weeks have been topsy turvy. National service is slowly tearing me apart. But I'm coping, day by day. Well, I won't be attached to an ambulance for a couple of days next week. I'll be heading back to BRTC to conduct some jabbings. Office hours. Not bad lah I guess, and I'll get to see some familiar faces.

Aiyah, this is too random of an entry lah.

take a knife and stab me in the back.

2009-11-06T00:44:00.005+08:00

definitely not my day. one more mistake and everything came crashing down, again.

pretty hard.

just finish what you started...if you learn to walk away...

2009-11-01T22:38:00.002+08:00

If you noticed, I've removed a couple my social networking websites (tumblr, friendster, photoblog). Don't see a reason to keep them. I considered removing this blog too, but its too precious for me to do so. When I grow old and senile, I will at least have something to remember my past.

Well anyways, I hardly have any words to describe the things I've been doing. So yeah, guess pictures will do.

2009-10-26T19:48:00.001+08:00

Oh bummer, last night was bad.
Hopefully, tonight will be a little better.

My heart doesn't beat As fast as it once did

2009-10-25T12:45:00.003+08:00

Tonight will be another night on the road. Mindless duty. I don't know who will I be following but hopefully it will be someone I can feel relax and do my stuff without feeling pressured.

Enough with the ambulance life.

Ever since my last shopping spree, I've been wanting to do more of it. Its like an addiction and I can say addiction to certain things come by easily for me. Red bull, shopping, photography. Once I feel like I'm getting into the groove of things...it just keeps me going. *kreek kreek*

This is really a mindless entry. So depressing because I really have nothing to talk about.

save the cheerleader, save the world.

2009-10-24T23:26:00.002+08:00

I've been trying to think of something to write about here. Since morning have I tried to do so but to no avail. Really, it gets harder to blog by the minute. Inspiration-less. So hence, a particular boring entry. And a random one I might add.

Ambulance life. I think its almost three weeks into it and I'm enjoying it. Its been fun yet tiring but I'm getting the hang of it. However, its upsetting to say and to know or even realized that I'm actually struggling as well. Struggling to do what I can and have to with competency. I want to improve and the only way I can do it is to practice day by day. But, do I really have the time to do so?

One month, that's all the time I had to familiarize myself with everything. Only so I can run alone in a three men crew. Those responsibilities are immense and pressurizing for someone like me. With everybody breathing down your neck and the knowing that whatever you do is always scrutinized and the fact that a single wrong move can lead to a terrible consequence. It gets the heart beating very fast with every call, especially a new case I've never attended before.

So far, I've never had a major calls, yet. Two years. I've got two years, two whole years to experience it.

And tomorrow will be another night. Another night of calls.

till the day comes...

2009-10-17T19:14:00.001+08:00

I can't find a reason to blog anymore. Hmm...

2009-10-15T15:31:00.002+08:00

Ambulance have been thrilling. Every morning, working feels dreadful but after I do start the day, it gets the adrenaline pumping. I've seen some things which has opened my eyes a bit, yet I'm still waiting for a life changing experience. Though, I won't know how I will react.

There's so much in my head right now. But, I just can't say it here or to anyone.
Let's just pretend.

recollection, future.

2009-10-09T08:46:00.001+08:00

Tonight will be my first Night Shift.

It will be an experience, definitely.

Tom: What happens if you fall in love?

2009-10-09T08:38:00.003+08:00

It was random mini reunion of two.

We caught (500) Days of Summer. Its a damn sweet movie though its not your normal romance movie with a fairytale ending. Yeah, don't expect fairytale ending but definitely, there's a happy ending.

fin

Alpha 441, Alpha 441

2009-10-07T10:17:00.003+08:00

Yesterday marked my first duty as an Ambulance Medic. Surprisingly, everyone were pretty nice. Thank god for that. So far, I can say that it was pretty lepak. Only had one call and one walk-in case though nothing major happened. But I did panicked at times when I didn't have to.

So far so good I must say.

If you would like to know...

2009-10-03T08:52:00.003+08:00

Okay so, blogging isn't really my thing these days. I'm either too busy or too tired with National Service or too busy trying to catch up with friends and families. Not entirely fun...but definitely memorable. Every bits of it.

If you would like to know, training life is over. I'm officially operational ready after all the different experiences I had in NS so far. Four weeks of Physical Training Phase, three weeks of Emergency Response Specialist Course (out of course at the end of the third week), four weeks of Basic Rescue Training and finally six weeks of Medical Orderly Course. And yeah, trainings & studying is over! Finally.

But no doubt, I'm gonna miss all the experiences especially all those during Medic course. It was the one course, I put much effort in, even though the final outcome was a little disappointing, and learned a great amount of things which are beneficial in life.

If you would like to know, tests and exercises are over. I'm licensed to perform CPR and use the Automated External Defibrillator. I know First Aids. I can perform injections and intravenous infusions. And etc. After all the theory tests, the practical tests and finally the 14hours of Final Exercise on Thursday! We can officially call ourselves Medics!

If you would like to know, I'm officially a Medic. Happy, yet disappointed. Proud, yet puzzled. I didn't get the posting of my intent but instead got the posting I didn't really wished for. But its okay. I'll just perform whatever I have to with all my abilities. I must say, I was disappointed but after receiving the award for the Most Improved Trainee...I guess it gave me slight motivation.

If you would like to know, I got an award for the Most Improved Trainee. Unexpected, definitely. That's all I can say. Now I'm gonna waste my weekends away...'cause I know the weekends gonna get burnt.

Selamat Hari Raya

2009-09-21T12:41:00.003+08:00

Well, I don't celebrate Hari Raya like others.

I don't take family portraits.
I hardly go out for any house visiting.
I don't put any Hari Raya decorations, the ketupats and pretty lights.

I guess, my Hari Raya isn't as meriah as it was before.
Now that my Brother is overseas, my Aunt and Uncle returning to the Almighty and my Grandmother admission to the Hospital...it really makes me miss the Raya of Yester-years.
What more when I look at all the pictures of other families enjoying their time.

And this year, it was different...with my Grandmother in the hospital, our first visit was to the Hospital. Cool eh?

Well, that's my Hari Raya. Selamat Hari Raya.

me no like. me sad.

2009-09-15T19:54:00.003+08:00

I have a problem.

The problem with me is that I get disappointed easily.
Only because I put too much hope and expectation on myself.

But I'll end up crashing to the floor hard when I miss out on my expectations.
Now the morale have gone down low...very low.

a step at a time.

2009-09-13T21:31:00.002+08:00

Yeah.

I've not been blogging much. Only because there's either to much to say or nothing to be mention at all. Or rather, I will always end up too tired after every episode from the week. The body will be begging for an early shut eyes every night and I won't have the luxury of choice to neglect those requests.

We always thought medic life would be easy. May I retract my own self opinion on medics. Its not easy being a medic. Responsibilities, tests, commitments. And not forgetting I can't be mentally and physically inept. Its a taking a toll on me.

I started out enjoying the course...but I'm beginning to lose interest by the second. I need a little more motivation. The very least, I will then come close to achieving what I set out to complete in the first place. As of now, the potential goal is going and running further away from my grasp and into another person hands. I wish to snatch it back but like I mentioned...the motivation isn't there anymore.

Well, I guess I have to take things a step at a time.

2009-09-11T05:23:00.000+08:00

I'm on Tumblr now too.
I'm really all over the place. heh

Sir if you can hear me, please do not move your head.

2009-09-10T20:38:00.002+08:00

Medical Orderly Course have been interesting.
Yet, there are still a little mixed emotions here and there which makes me dread going to camp.
At least, I'm certified to perform CPR and use the AED equipments.

Tomorrow will be theory two test.

And that sums up my course.
Well, almost.

2009-09-01T05:50:00.000+08:00

I dislike Weekdays.

Specifically, every morning.

Go Figure.

It sucks 'cause I've forgotten how being healthy feels.

2009-08-30T19:56:00.003+08:00

It has been a long time since I actively update and two weeks, two weeks since I've passed out from Basic Rescue Training Center. Two weekends. And the two weekends has been overly memorable in a good and bad way. But it definitely do not mean I'm gonna go on rewind and recall everything that had happened previously at the expense of Time.

It was a good last week in BRTC though. Recovered from being sick for so long and spending your last week in relax mood with your platoon mates. Of course with those you are really close to though. Yes, there are politics here too (its everywhere and inevitable) but that's another story. Passing out was a big deal. It was like an achievement for surviving and completing 11 whole weeks though it was definitely easier compared to those having to work their ass off in Fire Fighter Course or Emergency Response Specialist Course. I was there. I know a little about the toughness. Being in BRTC for the first four weeks before being thrown to CDA for the ERS course and back to BRTC after I out of coursed. Nomadic traveller, huh?

Now that I've passed out, I'm a private. We all thought, when you become a private...you'll be treated a little different. Yeah, there are differences but the core of the treatment still remain the same. Surprise, Surprise.

As you may already know, somehow and somewhat...I'm currently undergoing Medical Orderly Course. A little introduction to the course. You're being train as a future Medic, not to be confuse for a Paramedic. There are different places where you can be situated at. In the Medical Centres, Fire Stations or Hospitals (kilat ones will be chosen as Instructors depending on situation). In Medical Centres, you're mainly like a nurse to a doctor in a way. In Hospitals, well...I'm not really sure about this. But in Stations, you're always on call and help the Paramedic and you will get to see stuff.

At the moment, all the stories from my Encik make the whole experience exciting yet scary. I'm excited by the experience...saving the lives of people, looking first hand at things you probably won't see in a lifetime...unless you're unfortunate. Scary by the fact that you're responsible on saving someones live and that I'm not entirely confident I can survive the physical and mental test of being a Medic.

Nonetheless, whatever gonna happen...gonna happen. I'll just accept it as a challenge. I've already shun away one challenge, one opportunity. Why shun away another?

Away from NS life.

I've been sick. Yes, again. I've been struggling to keep fit ever since got sick the first time in camp. This weekend, been wasting it by sleeping and slothing. I couldn't fast for two days (though I tried on Saturday) due to all the unproductive cough and fluctuating temperature. I can feel the phlegm in my lungs as a breath in and out but I just can't get it out.

It sucks 'cause I've forgotten how being healthy feels.

I'm going away, I'm going my way

2009-08-25T06:04:00.001+08:00

Medical Orderly Course 112th

Will post more about it once I get home.

If you could be my motivation.

I'm a little handyman.

2009-08-23T09:25:00.003+08:00

This is awesome.

I've managed to fix my own laptop. The internal wireless network adaptor is now working as per normal. Now I have to 'fix' my power adaptor. Obviously, I have no way to physically fix it. Rather, I have to purchase a new one and the need for money makes me want to just depend on what I have right now.

Cheers.

a little hunger is nothing compared to the satisfaction of enduring.

2009-08-22T17:42:00.002+08:00

Ramadhan & Passing Out Parade.

All the reasons to make me a little happier. And if I wasn't lazy, I would probably have blogged about my happening week.

Oh, no longer a recruit. Now a private. ( Could have been a seargeant instead but that's a whole different story )

I'm Just Too Lazy

2009-08-15T23:48:00.003+08:00

A lot happened this past week or so.
But I'm just too lazy to blog about it.

I tried too hard to be happy

2009-08-14T17:58:00.003+08:00

I'm annoyed and disappointed.

Annoyed that my laptop has died on me.
Disappointed that I'm such a weakling.

Fell sick again with temperature ever rising.
I need to be stronger.

Disappointment. I'm never seem to be lacking of it.
I need to end this barren run of success and happiness.

I feel unmotivated and uninspired.
I feel ever useless.

This must be the medication talking;
but it's a true fact.

2009-08-10T17:38:00.001+08:00

When am I going to recoveeeer...?!

do you remember our story?

2009-08-09T16:21:00.002+08:00

Will update...once I don't feel so lazy.

Other than that, Happy Birthday Singapore!

I Like You

2009-08-02T08:51:00.003+08:00

Okay. I'm a klutz. I had actually wrote a pretty long entry on my Livejournal. But I accidentally pressed the x button and poofed, everything disappeared. Arghhhh, the agony.

Well, as I was trying to mention earlier before the unfortunate events, I'll be booking in/out earlier and later than usual this few final weeks as a recruit. Yes, in other words, I'm being confined. Before you come to the conclusion that I've done something wrong, let me clarify. Due to some unforseen circumstances of the H1N1 outbreak in my current platoon during the week I was still an SCT trainee in CDA, the whole platoon, Mustang, had to be quarantined. Therefore, make up lessons had to made.

FYI, this will be my schedule.

1st week after OOC-ed - 26th July, 8pm to 1st August, 5.30pm ( I was however sent home on 31st July after being brought to the hospital.)

2nd week after OOC-ed - 2nd August, 12pm to 8th August, 5.30pm

3rd week after OOC-ed - Tentatively 9th August, 8pm to 14th August 5.30pm

POP Week! - 16th August 12pm to 21st August!

Another piece of info - I'm hoping I get that medic vocation! I'm too lazy to type a long paragraph on it anymore.

p/s - I think I like you but nothing more, just yet.

Juliet

2009-08-01T19:55:00.003+08:00

I present to you my latest loved one...Juliet. Well anyways, being sick for a month is really taking a toll on my body...

2009-07-26T18:35:00.002+08:00

I got myself a new phone. Will show it off here soon. But you guys probably can guess what model it is.

Oh, and I'm back to BRTC. ROAR!

Avada Kedavra

2009-07-26T08:59:00.002+08:00

Yes, I've joined the Harry Potter & The Half Blood Prince bandwagon for just a moment and is jumping out of it until the next two movies comes out. I never did read the book but was still able to get the gist of the movie.

HBP was by far better than the previous two, GOF and OOP. Not much action since its more of a storytelling movie to build up to its final chapter. Nevertheless, I don't think it was epic and it could have been much, much better.

2009-07-25T14:53:00.001+08:00

To be honest, I never felt so down ever since....

2009-07-24T19:30:00.003+08:00

I feel stupid.

Seriously. I should have seen the signs coming. Everything's repeating all over again. Fuck it. Full Stop.

I've just booked out with every feeling of regrets...yet now I feeling even fucked up!

AHH!

One day, everybody will know my name

2009-07-19T09:40:00.004+08:00

I like to think...that I'm everywhere. For some reason or another, I like to leave my mark everywhere. Little snippets of memories on different platforms. I have bloggers, livejournal, flickr, facebook and what nots. Makes me sound like I'm an attention seeker, no? Well, at least I don't pretend to be someone I'm not or do things which will bring harm to the world, yes.

Don't mind the somewhat endless entries. You can guess by now, I'm bored as hell yet I feel hyper. The mind is working, no doubt 'bout that. I just love when it does that (though most of the time at the wrong timings).

Well, anyways, I can only do justice to my online territorial markings by reasoning them and introducing them to you the purpose of each. Boredom strikes. Bare with me.

pushing the senses @ blogger

- I've been blogging for four years now on this space. Though Pushing The Senses came about on August '07 and was inspired by a song of similar name by The Feeder. Well anyways, it has serve its purpose well. A space for me to let out my emotions without any fears though it isn't the same any longer. It gets harder to be truthful here so I've change the contents to those boring everyday entries, random quotes & thoughts and well yeah, random stuffs.

for absolution photoblog @ blogger

- Yeah, this is my photoblog. I've fallen in love with photography for more than three years now. I had the luxury of using every possible means to snap pictures here and there. From an awesome DSLR to a Semi-Pro Camera to a normal Compact Camera. I've been using this space here as a space to talk about photography and display some of my takes. Yes, this is my photoblog.

pushing the senses @ flickr
- Similar to my photoblog. I've been posting my photos here too and there are some extra photos which I may not have uploaded on my photoblog. However, this space (again similarly to my photoblog) have gone stale for some time. I don't have the time and the inspirations at the moment.

pushing the senses @ livejournal

- This is another of my space. Though, this is a private personal space. I've been using this space for a year or so when things started to change. The benefit of having a livejournal is that you can limit the viewership of your entry to only your friends. So if you wish to view my entries, you can try to add me up there though I can't ensure you I will except the request. I'll only agree to the request if I do not feel threaten by any chance. Well, the purpose of this entry is simply to let everything out. I believe it to be my most personal treasure of all and a place where I can be true and say what I want to say to a certain extend of course.

shafiq shah ni @ facebook
- Everybody's favourite space. After the dying out of ancient Friendster. Most people have done their shifting to a new personal space. With many addictive apps and social activities to be done...I'm sure this space gonna last for quite a long time.

mrshfq s. @ twitter
- A new platform at the moment. Now that I frequently have to stay in camp, it gives me little time to update myself. Using twitter allows me to update myself to netizens of my activities and feelings. It gets me going and I doubt I will stop doing so anytime soon.

Well, of course there's other spaces such as Friendster and so on...but they have died out on me.

Alright, I am no longer bored. So that's it.

Happy 20th Lydia Natasya

2009-07-19T09:24:00.003+08:00

Happy 20th Lydia Natasya!

You've been a great friend for two years and counting. Helping me out when I needed 'em badly and being a great listening ears when I wanted someone to whine to. And you can always count on me to do the same for you when you need it.

Have a awesome day! And best of luck for you future endeavours and may your wishes come true.

P.S. I'm such a good friend. HAHAHA

Where got timeeee...

2009-07-19T08:46:00.003+08:00

I never did anything to mention here about how'd I've been faring in serving the nation wearing that dark navy blue jacket/uniform every single day and its probably about time I take some time to do so. Took me almost seven weeks to do huh? Better late than never they say.

Yeah, it's been seven weeks since the day I've been enlisted. So far, life's been swell. I can say I feel fitter though I felt even better during my time in BRTC. For those who are curious (eventhough I'm not sure there are in the first place), I've been posted to CDA but I will talk about that later on. Well, back to the topic. I feel fitter in NS though there's still a degree of improvement required especially with my current training regime. People there (obviously refering to the fellow recruits, trainees and some instructors) have been great in helping me swiftly adapt to the new environment.

Honestly, adapting wasn't difficult. That's the benefit of accepting it with an open mind. I came to this regimental lifestyle knowing that there's no way I can turn back and put aside most of my civilian lifestyle aside. Though there are things which do get on my nerves, I could only keep myself calm.

Four weeks when by pretty fast. The first four weeks was PTP or what they call Physical Training Phase for those recruits who failed NAPFA or didn't bother taking it in the first place. The first four weeks involved nothing but trainings, trainings to make your body conditioned for things to come. It was really exercising 24/7. It was fun as much as it was tiring.

As the four weeks past, you start settle down to the new environment and of course with the friends you have...it gets harder to move on. What I'm talking about here?

Well, by the end of the forth week, I had to undergo an interview. I was shortlisted for ERS which is short for Emergency Response Specialist. In the eyes of the public, they are those firefighters you see wearing the black jacket with orange trimmings (bunker gears) as oppose to those wearing the same black jacket with grey trimmings. It was not the vocation of my choice. Definitely. The salary by the time I end the course will be a awesome. A 1k+ salary for a temporary job, who in the right mind wouldn't be tempted. But the intensity plus the overbearing responsibility which comes with the job is too much of a commitment for me. Not something I can look forward to every single day to be honest.

But I have no choice. According to those higher up, it was never our choice to choose what vocation you end up getting even if they made it looked like we had one in the first place. So as of now, I'm trying and enduring. The goal right now is to complete my junior term. Then senior term and who knows...if I start to enjoy life here (six months...a lot can happen in six months) I may end up trying out for Basic Officer Course. Top three orh!

So far, its been two weeks I've been posted to CDA and I've learnt some new stuffs like how to use the sliding pole, tying knots and of course got my hands on the most important asset to a firefighting personnel, the water hose (and WMG, water mist gun). Oh and if things goes as plan, my rota will be flying to Brunei Darusalem on 31st October for a week.

Well, you see...I'm trying to stay optimistic about being here. I'm learning things I can never learn anywhere else. And who knows, if all else fails for me to pursue my idea career...this can be an option for me, NOT!

Back to training tonight. Houuu!

i live to watch movies.

2009-07-18T22:42:00.001+08:00

Just some of the few movies I wouldn't mind watching. Anybody?

you've got all the time in the world, but one thing is missing...

2009-07-18T18:55:00.002+08:00

I hate unproductive weekends. Period.

oh gadgets...

2009-07-18T12:35:00.001+08:00

It's official.

I've set my priority to get my hands on Nokia N97.

Yes I will.

wear and tear.

2009-07-15T19:28:00.002+08:00

Surprise, surprise. I'm at home currently when I'm supposed to be in camp. Why? Well, because of H1N1 alert...those with even the slightest of cough had to be sent home. I've been coughing for nearly a month now and from what I know from the doctor my throat is a little swollen.

Well, I shall just take this time to rest...and making full use of this short "holiday".

2009-07-12T19:07:00.001+08:00

Omg, its almost time for booking in. :( :( :(

2009-07-12T00:04:00.004+08:00

I'm at odds with myself because I can't decide on which phone I want to get. And there's the addition of Nokia N97 which confuses me more.

Any suggestions?

'cause doc, the heart's been broken way too many times.

2009-07-11T13:32:00.004+08:00

waiting to be inspired
waiting to be happier again

when will that happen?

2009-07-04T22:25:00.001+08:00

A human being without conflict would be a society not of friends but of ants.

Sir Karl Popper

fate rarely calls upon us at the moment of our choosing

2009-06-27T23:46:00.002+08:00

Guess what

:) :) :)

Weekend as a civilian

2009-06-14T16:12:00.002+08:00

Booking in a few hours. Spent the weekends learning some things and watched The Taking Of Pelham 123 with Khairee and Yohanis. Not a bad remake. The show is about a former Wall Street high roller wanting to take revenge on the city by hijacking a train with hostages and the only means of communication is through a random dispatcher.

Well, I really got nothing to say but....

I'm dying to tell you something, but I can't seem to find you anywhere.

time to serve the country

2009-06-09T00:05:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow marks the day things changes drastically for me.

Thus, even lesser blog posts here.

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

2009-06-07T00:06:00.002+08:00

Had an awesome final week. But fun ultimately leads to the occasional spending, may it be rationally or irrationally.

Tuesday - Chiron Workshop, karaoke and dinner at Al-Ameen.

Thursday - East Coast Park, bowling.

Friday - Two minutes trip to Sunshine Plaza, lunched at Mad Jack, rode Singapore Flyer, dined at Marina Square Food Court

Saturday - Wedding invitation at Regent Hotel with family, Xbox 360-ed with Khai.

And while all those happened, I had to spend few bucks on certain essentials needed to prepare myself for the days to come.

If only I could bring myself to try harder.

And I can't help but wonder

2009-06-03T15:53:00.002+08:00

I've got such little time left. Damn.

Anyways, spent the whole of yesterday with the company of people. I visited RP yesterday since my old club were having a Chiron Workshop and I wanted to pass the birthday presents I bought for Charisma & Sharman. Being there made me miss RP a little or maybe a lot. All the things that had happened, may it be emotionally shattering or joyous occasions. Nonetheless, it was good seeing some familiar faces and those new ones. HAHA.

Right after that, met the rest for another karaoke session. Singing crazily and chilling for four hours really kills. I was feeling the exhaustion upon reaching home. Crazy I tell you...

Tomorrow will be another day out and if its confirmed, Saturday too.

Goodbye.

if i got a chance, please tell me so

2009-05-29T13:00:00.003+08:00

Well, caught two different movies yesterday at two different times, two different places and two different people. First of those two were Monster Vs Aliens. I thought the movie was pretty bland. There was a few funny spots here and there but other than that...I don't find it something to wow at unlike Monster Inc or The Incredibles.

Terminator Salvation was next. Almost didn't manage to catch it because of the crowds. Got the tickets at CCK Shaw. And goodness me...the seats there were so small that I was fidgeting around to prevent my legs from cramping up. Well, other than that...the show was okay. Predictable, yet a little twist and turns in the story and of course full of action.

what if i tell you this...

my Fingers, Press The Steel, It Tells Me What To Sing

2009-05-23T04:01:00.005+08:00

Ahh, for some strange reasons...my sleeping time have been screwed up. I've been waking up at strangest of times lately. Despite sleeping early, I would be randomly awoken at 3a.m. or 4a.m. Just like currently.

This is crazy...ughhhhh!

Okay, I better try to get some sleep again.

I know you're alright, by the friends you keep

2009-05-21T12:47:00.002+08:00

Managed to catch Angels & Demons yesterday and I had mixed feeling about the show. I wouldn't say it was a masterclass of a movie but it was definitely intriguing that I couldn't find the right time to visit the loo. I was too scared of mixing the bits and pieces of the plot. So, I glued myself in my seat. Well, you can't expect any less from a movie adaptation of Dan Brown's novels which is full of controversies, mysteries and conspiracies.

Well anyways, I hate it when I have to change plans I've made long time back. My NTU/NIE application had been rejected due to "overwhelming" response. Okay, obviously it was my fault for not driving myself to my goals. I had made continuous wrong moves one after another and thus, getting my application reject. Now, I have to proceed with Plan B, something which I have yet to decide.

Thankfully, I've got myself two years to slowly contemplate. And hopefully NS won't be distracting me. Right now, I will just be enjoying myself while waiting for the very date.

disappointment after disappointment. it never stop don't they?

2009-05-12T16:59:00.002+08:00

okay, time to drown myself in sorrow.

You're not the only one...remember that

2009-05-12T15:23:00.002+08:00

Caught Star Trek yesterday.

I'm not a trekkie. In fact, I never once watched the series because I thought it was lame and boring. When I first heard they were going to remake Star Trek, I concluded that it was going to be, well, boring and lame. That was until I watched the trailer and all the reviews on it.

I must say, even if you're not a trekkie...you should catch the show if you get the opportunity. Awesome 2009 blockbuster. That's all I have to say.

Accompanied my mom to Bukit Merah in the morning for her Acupuncture treatment. Recently, she's suffered from Bell's Palsy. When I first heard what happened to her, I was genuinely scared. It was all so sudden. Even after I knew of the condition, whenever I looked at her...I have to hold back my tears. The doctors and everybody else said she will recover soon...I really hope so.

Anyways, going to the acupuncture very much enlightened me a little. I've always been a little naive towards traditional medications. I've believed that those practices were done based solely on things like the Yin and Yang and etc. But in fact...the doctors actually know and have the knowledge like any other western doctors. Okay, maybe those professional acupuncture & tcm clinics.

2009-05-08T23:26:00.001+08:00

I need to crack my back. help!

goodnight

2009-05-04T21:42:00.006+08:00

I used to think that I was a somebody. I knew I could do anything effortless and with glee. I had every mentality of a winner and winning was the only thing that could have pleased me.

But now that I'm twenty, I've been brought back down to Earth and pretty much struggling in something called self-belief. In other words, or cruel words...

I'm pretty pathetic.

They said, "Time will heal, and time will mend"

2009-04-24T12:07:00.002+08:00

I think too much of the mistakes I have done may it be minor or major.
I know nobody is perfect but there is no harm in trying to be close to perfect, no?

And those mistakes I've made...
Can never seem to be forgotten.
Etched and chucked in the brain somewhere, waiting to prowl at the most undesired moments.

One of the few reasons why I get tensed easily.

not the one you're looking for

2009-04-20T19:35:00.002+08:00

I hate taking afternoon naps. I'll end up waking up few hours later feeling absolute lethargy and aching body as oppose to some who'll wake up feeling fresh. Maybe its just the heat and weather or maybe its just me.

Well anyways, Welcome back to school to all Republicans huh. To tell you the truth, I miss all the nitty gritty of being a student. Don't you?

thirty days - nevershoutnever

2009-04-19T13:01:00.002+08:00

And it's wearing me out, it's wearing me down
This holiday, is nothing but frowns for me
But I've got a gift, you see
I'm making a list, hell, I'll check it twice
Of all the things you've done in my life
And I'll send it your way
So you see why I love...

2009-04-18T13:10:00.000+08:00

'because i'm the villain and others are the heroes.

2009-04-16T21:56:00.001+08:00

if the simplest of all secrets cannot be kept, can i trust you at all?

thanks

the nine hundredth post

2009-04-15T09:23:00.003+08:00

Alright.

It has been quite some time since I last wrote something here. And fyi, this will be 900th post on pts. Well anyways, a lot happened during this no entry week and just maybe that's the particular reason why the frequency of my entries had been decreased. There were just too much to talk about.

Last week was rather eventful for me. Graduation Ceremony was first in line. Yes, I've finally gotten the official certificates and whatever documents I'm supposed to get on that day. I'm finally kicked out of the school or completed tertiary level. Whichever way you want to look at it, huh. It was mixed emotions on the day, I swear. From being anxious to get on stage to feeling relief and happy at the same time knowing you have finally graduated. At the same time, the not so pleasant feeling of fear was there too but the one feeling I didn't like...disappointment was there too at the end of the Ceremony. Told you, mixed emotions. So much so that I wasn't in a mood to actually take create memories like the others did. That's graduation for me.

After the whole hanging out and eating at South Agora, AY07/08 S2 W55Q decided to head to Vivo City to sit, chill and more chilling.

The next day was Work Day. Another new class and new antics. I never actually felt that tired before in my life. My chest felt so tight that I had slight difficulty in breathing at the end of the day while waiting for Kerus to pick me up. The reason why he picked me up was because we had decided before hand to head to Suntec, meet up with the rest and have some dinner. But I was too tired to do anything and all I could to think of was the comfort of my bed. So, I decided to head home after I had my dinner, throbbing pain and all. The pain was really not something I would ask for ever again.

On Thursday was Chiron's Handover Ceremony. Nothing much happened. The torch has now been passed to them and its entirely up to them to do whatever they thing is right. It was great fun however to just see everyone there, maybe for the last time. Well, almost everyone. After the whole ceremony was done and over with, a few of us decided to catch Fast & Furious. Exotic Cars, Hot Girls and More Actions...what more can you ask for?

And the moment I was waiting for came on Friday. KL Trip. Lots of spending and eating. But at the same time, the weather wasn't that good. It was raining at almost every wrong timings. Oh, and I was pissed off half the time I was there. Okay, probably because I was quite alone there, no? The only think I keep thinking was....well, I better not mention it.

Finally, yesterday was full of crappiness. From Suck And Blow to Fang Bangers to Tree Bangers to Testube Bangers. In fact, everything we say sounded wrong yesterday...if you get what I mean.

Ok I tried...blogging but this is getting too boring. Oh and I realised something weird about myself. I find my inspirations to write when I lie down on my bed, close my eyes wanting to sleep. The moment I do that...everything just falls into place. But the problem is, I'll be too lazy to switch on my laptop again and thus, everything just goes to waste because I'll forget everything by the next day. Maybe I should keep a small notebook on the sidetable. Hmm...

Ok bye.

2009-04-06T12:42:00.003+08:00

Graduation Ceremony '09 tomorrow.
I'm not at all excited because I'm starting to feel the whole thing will be crappy.
Especially having to wear that Harry Potter + Jedi robe.

On the bright side, it means I'm finally and officially out of the school.
& KL trip is looming.

Quiet alone, saturday's nothing again till you're home.

2009-03-28T21:45:00.002+08:00

I started teaching as a relief teacher. No doubt it was an experienced. I never knew how to handle those primary one kids. Partly due to not having any siblings or cousins who are younger than me. So, I really didn't know what to expect.

First day was a struggle for me. I think I was trying too hard that I forgot what I was actually doing. By the end of the first hour of Mathematics, I nearly lost my voice. But it got much better the next day. Two days teaching there made me realise how adorable the kids were and at the same time how challenging it was to handle all their...ermm...actions.

Oh and did I mentioned my body was aching when the next few days.

KL trip with family three days after the Official Graduation Ceremony. Can't wait.

2009-03-22T23:41:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow will no doubt be interesting. Never thought I will be trying something like this. But its worth the try knowing that it could possibily be my career choice in the future.

Let's just hope I don't mess it up, like every other opportunities before this.

I need to find my way, back to the start

2009-03-20T00:56:00.002+08:00

Okay, I thought hard and stared long at this page. And came to a conclusion, I will not pour everything out here. I rather, keep it all inside of me, bottle it up...like how I've been doing for a few years now.

Well, I'll end this empty entry with this;

It's no surprise I miss having someone there for me all the time.

what more can i do?

2009-03-16T23:02:00.002+08:00

Okay, so what do you do with time at the palm of your hands? Well, for me, I decided to dose myself with movies, past and present. I knew there were some movies which I wanted to catch but was unable to do so. And I knew there were some movies I wouldn't catch in the cinemas. So why not?

Seven Pounds. Another heartfelt performance by Will Smith. A story about a peson whom is bend on helping and changing the lives of seven random people.

Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li. Yawn. I have nothing to say about it but yawn. Well, as you know its the movie about Chun-Li.

Transporter 3. Well, its okay for me I guess. The action was almost similar to the previous two prequels. Well, you don't expect less or more from Jason Stanham.

Quantum of Solace. Well, to be honest...I wasn't that into James Bond movies but thought this series wasn't that bad.

Bolt. Another Walt Disney's trademark animated movie.

The Wrestler. I'm sorry but I don't really understand why this movie was so hyped up. Yawn. Not ma thang'

Marley & Me. Touching story. Really.

Paul Blart Mall Cop. Ermm...just normal comedy. Nothing special.

Punisher Warzone. Damn this one was gruesome.

me is even more angry, chomp chomp.

2009-03-16T01:57:00.002+08:00

15 March 2008, my pissed off day.

Me is angry on this day. There's no denying how much I was fuming the whole day. I only managed to calm down when I reached home and sat on the bed listening to music. Why was I angry? Well, let's just say...stupidity of human beings are trully indescribable. And now I'm pissed off once again when I'm supposed to be sleeping. Why? Because the bloody laptop hung on me when I was in the middle of something and have yet to save it. Ugh!!

I'm angry yet I'm sad too. Only because I used to have people around me who were there and just knew how to calm you down and stop you from blowing up unnecessarily. They just knew how to turn down that rising temperature in me.

Now, it takes me even longer to cool down because there's just nobody there or they just say the wrong things to you. Probably, these people just don't understand you. Or maybe, they are not cut out for it....they are not cut out to be there for you.

get back inside your hole

2009-03-12T02:35:00.003+08:00

Caught Watchmen recently. I must say its not like your normal superhero flick. Don't expect a distinct difference between the good guys and the bad guys. Watchmen illustrated how even good guys are conflicted with morals. And the movie actually stayed true to its comic counterpart. Oh, expect gruesome and sexual scenes too.

I'm still awake at this hour with nothing to do. And what's worst is that I'm actually hungry at this hour and I'm too lazy to lift myself up and head to the kitchen to grab a bite or two. And how convenient...the song I'm listening to is "Get Up by Chris Cornell". My playlist asking me to Get Up. Wow.

sometimes your dream is merely a dream

2009-03-10T10:37:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a really random occasion. Woke up in the morning and realising it was raining cats and dogs. But two bored soul sitting at home couldn't resist the temptation to head out and do something despite the weather. Eventually, the two souls decided to catch a movie at GV Vivo and it wasn't difficult deciding on what show since both wanted to see Departures (Okuribito).

Okuribito or Departures is a movie about a Cellist whose orchestra had to be shut down due to lack of publicity and supports. Moving back to his hometown and desperate for a job, he accepted a job in "preparing the departed"

A really touching and beautiful story with melodious scores. It was worth the money and time.

Ridin' high, when I was king

2009-03-08T13:20:00.003+08:00

I only realised that I was almost broke last Friday when I decided to withdraw some ka-chings for the trip to Minds Cafe. And I actually thought I was "richer" than this. HAHA.

Well, yeah.

I finally get to chill at Minds Cafe for once on Friday. Everyone was supposed to meet up at 5.30p.m. since the reservation was made at 6.15p.m. But as usual, everyone ended up being late. So, the early birds decided to head off to Minds Cafe @ Raffles first. Met our reservation timing and we waited for the rest for almost two hours.

I must say, the place is a really good place for you to just chill and have fun. Maybe minus the "Doong Doong Chang" during the night next to the cafe. And the endless of weird board games and friendly people made the trip worthwhile. Okay, maybe it would have been even much better if I had won all three games that we played. Sadly, I lost at all the games we actually played.

The first game we played was "You Must Be An Idiot". The game is like Murderer with a board game twist to it. Oh, and plus you need to have a lot of knowledge to actually win the game. Oh, and a certain degree of strategy and bluffing here and there. I swear I knew some of the answers to the questions but it just didn't struck me.

Classic question of the night was..."Whose father bla bla bla bla?" Okay, I don't exactly remember the question but the two words, Whose Father, was actually there.

Noor's Answer: Your Father

Khairee's Answer: His Father

Mine: Batman. -.-

Okay the next game we played was Dawn Under. A memory game with Vampires and Garlic. I like this game best. I was in tune with all the empty spaces...until I got slightly distracted and all my strategy went out the drain. Bummer. I ended up losing this game as well.

Last game we played was Big Taboo. Again, its Taboo with a board game twist to it where by all the different classic guessing games are included in the game. From Pictionary to using only 15 Words to using BOB. Unfortunately, we didn't manage to complete the game though 'cause we were afraid of exceeding the 2hrs and we didn't want to fork out more money.

I wouldn't mind going there again. Happy Hours will be fine too. Though I probably need to be richer than I am now first. Heeh.

Next stop...Watchmen on Tuesday! Yessa!

do what they want

2009-03-06T14:11:00.003+08:00

Okay, so the movie was actually, okay. Nothing spectacular nor was there anything which made the movie bad. Simply put, just think Jumper meets Heroes and you will get PUSH. Camilla Belle...pretty pretty, though. haha.

Going out in a few hours time despite being sick. But I rather head out and risk myself falling even more sicker than cooping myself at home. Oh, I'll be parentless this weekend again and looks like I have to spend this opportunity at home, yet again...because everybody is "busy".

2009-03-03T15:39:00.004+08:00

I had a weird dream before waking up in cold sweat.

Apparently, in the dream someone in my life actually died and I didn't even reacted surprised like as though I knew it was going to happen when I got the news. Thank god I snapped back to reality sooner than I wanted to.

Scary shit.
But what if it really happens?
How will I react then?

2009-03-03T01:04:00.004+08:00

I'm so confused.

I no longer know the difference between right and wrong.
I no longer know the difference between yes and no.
I no longer know the difference between left and right.

I'm so confused.

2009-02-28T22:58:00.002+08:00

I’ve just got back my laptop after a month or so. Everything is ever so new again.

I’m actually trying out Windows Live Writer. The feeling is kinda weird though. Oh well, I’m gonna watch soccer now.

Gone.

[Update]

Now, I swear my laptop is falling apart now. Literally.

The Gunners are surprisingly boring this season. Frustratingggg.

And I think I have problems with the Internet. Crap.

waiting for yesterday, giving up on tomorrow

2009-02-28T01:42:00.003+08:00

I better stop pursuing perfection because it is has long been gone.
At this rate, I'm gonna get myself screwed over and over again.

It will be best if everything just falls into place.
Instead of it falling everywhere else except for the places I want it to be.

This is highly complicating.
Even I don't understand what I'm trying to say.
No wait, I'm lying.

Read between the lines.

Shall be home

2009-02-27T19:44:00.003+08:00

I've yet to start work but I'm already planning on a list of things I would like to get. First on the list will be that four million dollar crumpler bag. I like the black with green interior or the brown with red interior.

There's also the things I wanna do. Like exploring to places where I've never been before or just chilling at places I've ever been. And even watching the upcoming movies that will be release this year.

Pointless entry. I know.

2009-02-25T00:00:00.001+08:00

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s probably enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness - The Fray

Careful child, light the fuse and get away, ‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

2009-02-24T01:13:00.003+08:00

Everybody wants happiness. But what is happiness?

Is it when you have gotten everything you ever wanted or when you have achieved all your personal goals or is it when you spend time with your friends? Or simply, is happiness when you can afford to smile every single moment?

Happiness, where does it come from?

The butterflies are creeping through my spine

2009-02-20T12:47:00.002+08:00

Parents have gone to Ipoh Malaysia today. I decided not to go since it was a pretty last minute plan. So, I'm all alone at home and with absolutely nothing to do.

My week was spent by watching three movies. Wednesday was a trip to GV Marina to catch The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button with a lot of aimless walking. heh. I'm glad I didn't complete watching the movie online or I wouldn't even thought of catching it at the cinemas. The show was great despite the extremely long hours. You can't help but pity Benjamin Button's condition, whom by now you should have known he aged backwards, and at the same time shows the strength and courage to overcome his "disabilities".

On Thursday, was movie marathon. Two movies on a single day. Caught Underworld Rise of The Lycans first. Nothing much I can say even though it was a great. Twilight fans, please don't think Underworld is just like Twilight. They are direct opposite in fact. haha. And then, we watched Slumdog Millionaire. Just two words could define how good the movie was - Simply Outstanding. The storyline, the acting, the scores, the cinematography. Simply Outstanding. Nothing more I can say.

Thanks for the treats.

2009-02-19T11:49:00.002+08:00

It's rather amazing how one day, one single could change everything. But I'm still wary. Wary of the every possibility that it won't turn out well.

I'm not hoping though it actually felt nice.

So don't let anyone scare you, You know that I'll protect you

2009-02-17T15:44:00.002+08:00

The night I turned twenty ended up in tears. What a way to say goodbye to my teenage days. They were not tears of joy nor were they tears of sadness. They were tears of how worried I am for what the future have for me. I'm worried about not having the perfect life and job. I know I should face whatever that is there for me headstrong but its becoming ever difficult again with all the thoughts in my head.

So that, in a way, was my Twentieth.

2009-02-16T01:16:00.004+08:00

A year older, yet, I feel almost the same. But what did I expect? Grow even taller, become fully bearded and evolve into some superhuman? =)

The worst is yet to come, its coming

2009-02-15T23:37:00.005+08:00

I hate the fact that the future is uncertain.
I used to be undeterred by it
but now that I've seen what I've seen...
I'm frightened, out of my skin.
Curiousity really kills the cat.

I want a great future.
Not a good one and of course, not a lowly one.
I'm scared.
I really am.

2009-02-14T02:55:00.002+08:00

Exciting new week ahead. Hopefully, there will be a basket full of fun along with it. Can't wait.

p.s. I need to get my application done and over with.

2009-02-13T02:18:00.003+08:00

Life is getting harder and harder now with the career path choices I need to make. Wouldn't it be easier if I could just choose between pencils or crayons?